I love you - 7

I thought MSN will work, so I posted something that will catch your attention. But then I was wrong. So I thought Facebook will work. I did the same thing. Yet, you barely noticed. Finally, I thought Twitter may be the answer! Turns out, I was dead wrong. You don't give a shit! Seriously, what DO you care? Other than your online games?

I wasn't feeling well today, seriously not well. I was sneezing in class terribly. Then I was having a terrible horrible sore throat. I was begging God to make the time go faster so I can go back home and rest. How many more times do I have to get a wrong guess? Curriculum today is really a murderer. Headmistress asked us to stand outside under the sun according our sports meets. I'm not cursing the Sun, God or Myself. I'm cursing those who did global warming! It was freaking hot standing under the Sun!

Plus I was gonna die, then they have to make me suffer before I die. I'm already super dizzy and sleepy. Standing under the damn hot sun made it worse. To add the decoration on top, we were standing there for half an hour. Bladdy Fuck this school.

Finally Apple got the idea of going up to Block A to rest. Glad I had a smart best friend or else I will seriously faint. Although I'm half dead myself, I'm still worrying about you. I was looking all over for you. I worried you might faint like me too, muahaha! Cause' you are the type of guy who don't like being out in the sun :) Good thing you were hiding in an air-conditional room. It smooths my nerves.

Enough about you, I'm still half dead here. I think I might not be able to go to school tomorrow! My fever is about 39'c now. I better sleep or else I might die. I don't want to miss school tomorrow, I can't stand one day without you :( okay this sounds like I'm a despo or something. I'm not! Seeing & admiring you is my daily routine now :D muacks!

I am confused - 2

Nowadays, I have been twitting non-stop. I just have too many things to say that I couldn't express all out! I have to write it some where. I had been doing my story lately too. I kinda like typing things now, maybe if I type more thing, I might forget about you. Things ain't easy like some of those girls. I wonder how other girls can still be friends with guys that rejected them or broke up with them. Are they that despo?

Played basketball with Jobless Looney, Doorman and Kyle today. Playing sports is the second thing that kept me busy and make me stop thinking about you. Besides, it helps me get more oxygen into my brain since nowadays I haven't been sleeping well. Doorman and Jobless Looney made such a great team. As you know Doorman liked Jobless Looney, so this is his chance to get close to her. She doesn't seemed to bother, so I'm happy for them (: really.

But their relationship as friends made me wonder about you and me. During assembly, when Apple asked Kyle to tie my tie, you were just looking. Any reactions? Any jealousy occurred? Nothing? As I suspected. Plan A failed. But I wonder WHY, Jobless Looney talked to you? Doesn't she know that I'm trying my best to forget you and why must she kept talking to you like normal? Trying to make me jealous?! Well, she did it! FUCK.

Maybe she would like it if I talked to HER crush so nicely. Of course she wouldn't, no girls want that! Why are my best friends so close to you but I am not? Why must it be so hard just to say HI to you?

I love you - 6

All of us, except Krystal and the guys went over to Talipon for some steamboat slash barbecue dinner. I told everyone and I did not invite Winding Sorrow on purpose. I knew that Jobless Looney was really irritated by him and kept on making that STFU face every time she sees him or someone mentioned his name. So I think it's a good idea not to invite him.

Who knows, he came! Oh? Did I invite you? Jobless Looney gave me the WTF face. I understood her silent message immediately. Other than that, I did not invite you too. I wanted you to feel how being left out feels like. My plan was to forget about you, but who knows that you didn't come made me worried more and think about you more. Can't my brain shut up awhile?!

I kept looking out to the streets, hoping that you will show up then Apple, Sugar and Jobless Looney will show me the WTF face. I'll pretend to be angry at you but then inside me, I'm jumping up and down of joy. I regretted not inviting you. I wished you were here. I did have fun, but maybe if you were here. I would be happier. I heard from Doorman that you really want to come but you couldn't. I really want you to come too.

Apple is right too. Why must I feel bad for myself? The way you treated me, there wasn't any regret in your face. I should treat you like Limping Kook. By the way, I hate that bastard. I couldn't stand it anymore, I just took Bap's phone and asked permission if I could dial your number. Glad thing they allow me too :)

Although I dialed it, I wasn't brave enough to press call. I wonder how would you sound through the phone. I passed the phone to Bap and Doorman. They were talking to you, according to them, you sounded annoyed. Damn, don't tell me little things like this will make you annoyed? Or maybe it's too bothersome to your game? Common, you need some life. No matter what I'm doing, I still can't forget you.

I have to put an end to all these. I know it will hurt a lot.

I am confused - 1

I told myself, "I'm going to forget about you, move on with my life and put everything behind me!" I really tried to control myself to forget you. I know it will hurt but what can I do if you are treating me so coldly? I wasn't really excited for school today. Actually, I DON'T WANT to go to school. I am sick of seeing your irritated face. How much I really want to talk to you, I need to throw away those feelings. Damnit.

For 4 months already, I wished you would come and sit with us. Chat with us, with me. I had been wishing that for SO SO SO long. Today, when I wished that you wouldn't come, you came. You were sitting right in front of me. What am I suppose to do?! I can't look at your face! All I did was look behind me. What the hell, of all those times. Why today?! The day when I wanted to give up!

Sitting in front of me is not that bad, but why do you keep talking to Apple? Are you expecting me to talk to you or something? Cause' I don't! You treat me so cold, I should do the same! You want me to treat you like Limping Kook, huh? Don't worry, I will! Then you will know how it feels to be treated coldly!

Today, when I don't want to see you, I so happened to see you everywhere. When we were buying things from the Koperasi, why were you standing beside me?! You never wanna come near me. Yeah, I think you realized I was shaking. I panicked and asked random questions to Little Brain. Gosh, I must be such a fool. During recess, you were trying to throw a bottle at Kyle. Slamming it on the table for? Attention?

It's not bringing you any!

I know I told Apple I will forget about you, and I also know that I'm seriously lying. How can I forget about you so easily?! Even if I can't have you, I don't want anyone else to have you instead. I know I'm selfish. I don't think I can give you to anyone, cause I don't trust them. I can't give you to that IT. She's obviously so desperate for a boyfriend. You will just date you then dump you. I don't want you to be hurt ):

Anyway, tomorrow we are having some dinner thing together. BBQ time with the girls and dudes. I organized it on purpose, I did not invite you. I want you to know how it feels to be left out. Although you don't give a shit about it. Well, we'll see how it goes. Till then.

Calling you gay, would probably be the worst thing that I ever said. I don't care if I said bad words. I regretted so much after saying that. Truly, I never stop loving you.

I hate you - 1

When I heard whatever Doorman told me, tears starting to flow through my eyes. Good thing I hold those buckets of water. He told me that you are disgusted by me? Seriously, am I that bad? Did you know HOW many things I did for you? Did you know HOW much good things I said about you? Did you know HOW much I cared about you? Did you know HOW much I know about you? Did you know HOW HOW HOW HOW much I love you?

Honestly, do you even have a fucking heart?

I just put my head on Jobless Looney. I closed my eyes and hoped that the end of the day will come and I don't have to see your face anymore. It's like I love you so much and you hate me so much. Why is my love unpaid? I'm not trying to force you to like me or what so ever, but that doesn't mean you should be so mean to me right? No one is helping me in these kind of situations. No one. I'm all alone, again.

For a second there, why did Doorman even tell me that incident? Is he trying to make me give up on you? Why the fuck he wanna make me sad? Plus he said, "I hope you don't mind." Oh yes, I fucking don't mind. You want me to tell you how much Jobless Looney is annoyed by you? Even if you wanted, I wouldn't tell! Cause' I know how that stupid feeling feels likes. You're my friend, that's why!

When Kyle whacked Jobless Looney with a towel, aren't you suppose to say something? If you like her, be a man a protect her. Don't just sit there and act like a fucking little kid. If you still are, GROW UP. Your crush is being bullied by another man! Be a dick and say something! Sometimes, I wonder why are guys to girlish. Girls are more manly than guys nowadays. Their dicks must be shrinking day by day.

MAYBE, Apple is right. I should have given up on you long time ago. You are just making my life suck more than it already is. I know it's gonna be hard. I know it's gonna hurt. I know it's gonna be absolutely NOTHING to you. I will try to give up. TRY.

Fought with Limping Kook yesterday. Alongside with Jingle, Doorman and Apple. Good thing I said everything that's in my mind! I just hate him! He doesn't understand our sarcasm! Although we already told me, "You are unlikable." He still wanna come and talk to us. Aren't you ashame enough? Oh right, you don't!!

Cooklet was complaining about Krystal's watch. Saying her watch is way too dirty and too cheap. I just went and tell him straight into his pimpleful face. "Presents are from the heart!!" Damn he got nothing to say. Why wanna show off? It's only a watch. Is your watch over RM1k? NO? Then just shut the fuck up about it.

Somehow, these kind of people just like to fuck themselves and make themselves happy. Please, do it at home. NOT in front of my face. You know how much I hated it.

I love you - 5

I brave up to ask you to go to the dinner thing this Saturday. Did you know that my heart almost stop at that time? DID YOU KNOW?! I guess not. Yet, you are so cold-hearted to not reply me? Are you avoiding me or pretend on purpose that you can't see my message? Damn, I'm dumb for falling for you. Why among so many people, must it be you? I guess you can say I believe in "Love in first sight."

Well, I don't care if you are going to the dinner thing or not. I'm still gonna call your broz, and if you want to come, you got no choice but to talk to me. You HAVE to force me to do this, right? During exams was a hard time for me. I can only look no my left but not my right. I'm just worried you might think I'm looking at you and get annoyed or something. Biology today was just terrible. I was totally fucked up by the paper.

I wanted to cry when I looked my answers. There wasn't enough time for me to finish the paper. Tears are just swelling up in my eyes but I hold it and decided to focus on my Chemistry later on. It would be very very embarrassing if I cried, you will think I'm such a baby. Like I said, no one else's opinion is as important as yours. What you think of me is the most important. So I need to act strong, act happy and act as though I forgot about you. Obviously, I had NOT.

Jobless Looney said that she will fail her Biology. Honestly, she won't. I'm not saying that she's saying something wrong, but just that I feel VERY VERY VERY bad when she said she's gonna fail. I know I WILL fail, because I fucked it up. I know she won't. I just feel damn bad.

Chemistry paper was awesome! I managed to answer all the questions with no problem! Okay, there's problem to some but most of it I can answer! If I am able to get the highest for Chemistry, I'm sure you will be proud of me right? :) Just wait and see! Ginelle came to our class today, and you were staring weirdly at her. I got that jealous feeling again. Don't tell me, PLEASE don't tell me that the person you like is her?

Seriously, I don't know if I can handle that truth. Don't please, don't.

I love you - 4

1. We will spend more than half a day to wait for you to come online.

This is so true. I did waited for sometimes a whole day just for you to come online. Although you don't talk to me, I'm still happy that you came. I just couldn't stop smiling when I think about you!

2. We will dial your number, but won't click call.

Yeah I did dial your number, then the hang-up button. Dare enough to dial it, not dare enough to call it. Why am I being so afraid of you? After all, you are my friend right? I should treat you like one and forget everything. Sigh, if I can I would.

3. We stay up night thinking about guys.

I don't think about all the guys. I only think about you. Sometimes, I get insomnia because I was thinking too much. Maybe this is what people called obsessed? Maybe I am going out of my mind. I know my friends will laugh at me or tease me. That's why I created this blog, to type what I feel. After all, I'm a mystery huh?

4. Our drama, usually involoves at least one guy somewhere somehow.

Very true! Every time a fight started between us, it will always involve at least ONE guy. I wonder why. They say that girls are dramatic, but guys are the one who caused it! It's either guys are too childish or over matured. Mostly, it's childish. Get over yourself, mate! You don't have to get upset over sarcasms!! You told Sugar, you're matured? That was the biggest joke of the year.

5. When we have a crush, we dress to impress.

I always wanted to look my best before coming to school. Not that I'm trying to flirt with anyone or something. Not that I want to show off or something. I don't really care what other girls think of me. Or other guys think of me. What YOU think of me is important. Honestly, if you asked me to shave my head just so that you will talk to me like a friend, maybe I will do it. MAYBE (:

6. We have a problem telling the difference of when a guy is flirting, or when they like us, or both.

Don't lead me on, please! I really don't know if you are flirting with me or you like me, actually I don't care. Just don't make me fall for you if you don't have the intention on catching me. Cooklet tried to flirt with me sometimes. Yeah, I noticed. He came near to me and randomly said hi or sometimes he asked me about random things. I gave him cold shoulders and he buzzed off immediately.

7. We'll do anything to get your attention.

I always tried to be smart around you and always tried to be active. I really try to control myself and ignore the emo state! I hoped that you will notice me, but I let my hopes up too high. You don't care about anything but those for suits, Aces Cloves Hearts Diamonds.

8. We love talking about you to our best friends (girls) who we usually get our advice from.

YES, I DO! But they don't like talking about you. They think that you are useless and undependable guy. No matter what they say, I would still love you. Trust me, I would. ♥

9. Compliment us, we love them!

I don't get that much compliments from you. I know you don't want to lead me on that's why you don't want to eat my chocolate and touch everything I touched. I understand that very well, but you should give me some responds. Seeing you avoid me like I'm some kind of monster hurts me more than anything.

10. When guys give us nicknames, they're sweet and friendly.

Good nicknames! Not those horny ones, or dirty ones, or terrible ones. Just nice cute sweet nicknames! :)

11. When guys laugh and do the most silliest things while maintaining their maturity.

12. When guys have a soft side too, that they are not afraid to show.

It's cute when a guy is shy and their smile is just so so so so cute! Sweet Dong has a cute smile, believe me!

13. WE LOVE When you give us something sweet, to remind us of a funny conversation like an inside joke.

Chocolates, sweets, and candies are romantic! We, girls, loved those goodies. If only, sigh, you care. I wonder if you like them. Since you rejected all my chocolate sweets and ate the jelly beans, maybe you like sweet and candies?

14.We like it When guys hug us. Believe it or not-girls practice hugging you in their dreams.

Honestly, it's true. I did try practicing hugging you! LOL

15.We like you When guys help us with our homework. Girls CAN & WILL act dumb just for you. :)